why bother?

i heard you're gangster. that's cool. i'm gangster, too...

2006-04-14T09:17:00.000-06:00

for all the fly honeys out there who love a baaad boy...

come to the dark side...

2006-03-13T10:07:00.000-07:00

so i worked opening shift this morning, but got off at 8.15. it was only a 4 hour shift, which, apparently, is the "princess" shift.
so i was/am "princess for the day."

wtf is up with that?

did i mention i have the most obnoxious coworkers, ever?

motherwell's desperate, defiant assertion...

2005-12-25T00:42:00.000-07:00

as long as i'm sorting through folders for stuff to delete; from july or early august 2005:

i had a conversation with one of my girlfriends from college the other night, and i asked her if she had heard that jonathan, my old roomie, whom she knows, is now engaged to be married. she had, and we then compared weddings we had attended recently (thank the good lord that june is over,) and came to the unspoken conclusion that we are both missing something. or, more accurately, someone in our lives. so we said our goodnights, and hung up. i can't speak for her, but i felt just the slightest twinge of awkwardness at saying 'goodbye' - it's like a part of me wanted to extract the promise that if we were both still single in two years, irregardless of prospects, we would marry each other.

i guess i've just seen too many movies. i mean, how unreal is that?! granted, this young lady is the total package - she's intelligent, great sense of humor, a fantastic dancer, easy to talk to, yada yada yada.... does anyone else see the problem here? the problem is not that i'm missing someone amazing to share my life with. the problem is that i am not focused on making myself the most loving, charitable, honest, chaste, understanding [yada yada yada gifts of the Holy Spirit...] person that i can be; in a word, Christ-like.

you and i, my brothers and sisters, will not find our completion in ourselves. nor will we find fulfillment our spouse - current or future. we find completion, fulfillment, rest, peace, [yada yada yada fruits...] in Christ alone.

i cannot speak for any of you, so i will simply speak for myself. the baptizer said of christ, "i must become less that He might become more." he spoke for himself as well as me. i am not a saint, but i do desire to be holy - to be, wholly for God. i'm all bout it bout it when it comes to being for God. it's the being "wholly" part that's the rub.

at this point, i would like to acknowledge my more educated friends, and issue a preemptive strike: i'll send you the definitions of my terms and my footnoted references in a later email...

what is the point of this?

1. i am truely happy, and in jonathan and christine's case, giddily joyful, at the news of two people seeking sacramental marriage in Christ's church.
2. society, which has in part conditioned me to both reverence and revile the esoteric concept of "marriage," can kiss my ass.
3. i am focused (with many, frequent, and varying distractions,) on discerning and preparing for God's design for my life, and praying for the grace to do this thing right.
4. i want to reaffirm that despite my failings, i am perfected in my imperfections.

4 out of 5 doctors agree...

2005-12-25T00:36:00.000-07:00

i found a post that i typed up last spring, but never posted. it was written in early or mid may of 05. i was starting to review for the final exam with one of my frosh classes. one of my students raises her hand and says, "mr zelasko, i have a question, but it's off topic. can i ask it anyway?" to which i responded, "why don't you write it down for me?" don't you love answering a querstion with another querstion? but i know what you're thinking - 'what the heck did the note say?!?'

it said:

"hey mr. z!

emily uses carmex chapstick
+ that is told to give
people lip cancer + she
is forming a lump in
her lip + its white.
is it cancer?

*heart* taylor

write back"

i distinctly remember biting my lip so as not to chuckle, and eventually saying, "yes... this is waaaay off topic. we'll talk about it later, ok?"

how can you not love teaching high school?

TOTALLY FRICKIN SWEET!!!!!!!!

2005-12-02T01:52:00.000-07:00

dude, i am frickin Spider-Man! ! !

You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.

blah blah blah....

who cares?!?!?

i'm spiderman, beotch!!!

the four minute mile.

2005-12-02T01:16:00.000-07:00

there's nothing like a couple of beers to bring it all into focus...

yesterday afternoon, i hit the wall. that's all i can really say, you know? and even though i was completely exhausted, i was enthralled by the andrenaline rush that came with that sudden revelation. "this is all i have to do."

today, i turned in the results of the last two weeks' reading marathon: "on the necessity of fidelity to Christ in Catholic higher education: where we were, where we are, and where we need to be." john once told me that the longer and more specific your title, the greater you chances of scoring an A before they even crack the cover page.

this comes from the most stylish guy i know, and i ain't just talking fashion, so i think it counts for something....

while at UD, i didn't possess the experience to even begin to appreciate the genius of morons like plato and cicero. frickin BRILLIANT. i want to write to professor hejduk and apologize for being such an ass in phil & eth.

and can i just say, having read the ancients, i have a new understanding of oscar romero? i guess i can... it's my blog, after all.

i just hope it was coherent. i guess i'll reread it tomorrow. most likely it's just 15 pages of GAAAAAH....

to take a line from romero: change your life. reject sin. be the virtuous person God created you to be, wills you to be, longs with all His being for you to be.

the man was murdered because he said, "all i can do is call to my brothers and sisters: let us be converted, so that when we die, Christ may look on us, and have mercy on our souls."

well, i'm going to have a glass of water, and go to bed.

tomorrow i get to write the final 8 pages of my paper for scripture - something over the suffering servant of deutero-Isaiah and the passion of Mark. i won't know until i reread what i've got so far. i think i'll call it "deutero-Isaiah as proto-mark: old testament prophecies and their new testament perfections." i'll let you know.

skibbi do boop

2005-11-29T01:02:00.000-07:00

i just wanted to say that i still think about you. all the time. like you're ever gonna read this.

it's late. i need to go to bed. or finish this stupid paper so i can begin my next 15 page monstrosity. it's all about reading in context. gaaaah.

i think i'm gonna go to bed.

ps. 51.8

crazy white cracka rapper ninjas...

2005-11-27T10:53:00.000-07:00

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6214377451318797747&q=ninja

nomad, wherever you are, this one's for you.

smelling right sexy...

2005-11-26T17:52:00.000-07:00

props to nick blaha on the speed stick musk.

nows i smells sexy all the time...

i survived falling...

2005-11-23T18:20:00.000-07:00

and i do not speak of your usual, groundward-tending tropism. the particular fall i avoided several times was down a sheer rock face, located a solid quarter mile above the valley floor. it was so sweet! i was frickin terrified the entire timed, but i climbed three routes - two i have no idea how i did it. mike was all like,

"put your right foot on that ledge by your left knee."

to which i responded, "ledge? you mean the six grains of rock that happen to stick out of this otherwise flat and definitively ledge-less surface, to which i am clinging by the good Grace of God alone?"

and he replied with, "shut up and climb. when i'm done with you, your gonna eat lightning and crap thunder!"

well, i can already crap thunder pretty well, thank you very much. but i climbed it anyway. man style.

my homework is to stand on the bottom hinge of my door for twenty minutes, twice a day, every day until saturday. then we're going back to mount zion in golden.

at least you can see the coors brewery from where we were climbing.

how i spend my tuesdays...

2005-11-08T22:40:00.000-07:00

N.1

From: "Deb" To: "joe zelasko" < @hotmail.com>Subject:
Re: Social EventsDate: Tue, 8 Nov 2005 15:55:45 -0700
Hey Joe,

I have a quick question for you. For your paper did you do an outline or table of contents or did you just have a title page, paper and bibliography?

Just curious. Thanks!
Deb

N.2
From: joe
To: deb
Sent: Tuesday, November 08, 2005 4:05 PM
Subject: Re: more pressing matters....

i'm still writing mine - 6 pages to go. you done already? overachiever.....

i put in a title page, then a brief outline that serves as a table of contents. i don't know if that follows turabian style or not, but i'm counting neither one for my total. oh, and no bibliography. that's in the footnotes.

the first time you cite a work in footnote, you give the whole nine yards. after that, you can simply put the author's last name and the page number. if you cite it twice or more (consecutively,) you put "ibid" and then the page #. does that make sense?

'ibid' is latin, apparently, for "i ain't got time to write all this crap out."

http://www.libs.uga.edu/ref/turabian.html

hope it helps. any more questions, comments, cash, checques, or winning game pieces, you know where to find me.

Pax Christi.

joe.

[ i love the web. you just point and click click click BOOM!]

N. 3
From: "Deb" < @comcast.net>To: "joe zelasko" < @hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: more pressing matters....Date: Tue, 8 Nov 2005 16:15:24 -0700

I picked up the Turabian book yesterday because I find this stuff all too confusin'! Anyway, thanks for the heads up. Yes, I finished writing, but my footnotes are a mess. I have been working for 4 days solid - isolated in my cubby hole in the basement with no distractions - I put the fear of God into the children! I averaged maybe 2 pages a day over the last 4 days.

I have an unbelievable amount of information and only 13 pages to put it in. I'm sure he is counting on us sticking to the 13 pages. My subject was women and the priesthood - so I am sure you can imagine! What are you writing on?

Ok, so NO bibliography? Is that correct? oh and one more thing - where did you put your page numbers - mine are in the upper right corner for now. As far as I can tell they can go there or on the bottom center of the page, but with the footnotes, I wasn't sure.

Thanks! Drink lots of coffee - I'm sure your paper will turn out great, you're a natural!

Sorry I am low on cash, have to pay for this graduate school stuff! But winning game pieces....hmmm...

peace,
Deb

N.4
From: joe
To: deb
Sent: Tuesday, November 08, 2005 4:25 PM
Subject: Re: more pressing matters....

re: the bibliography - i don't think it's necessary, especially if you cite in footnote.
upper R corner sounds good to me, just don't paginate the title page - if you have one.

i'm currently sipping on a cherry coke with half a lime thrown in for good measure. i'm sorta 'coffeed out,' and yet i still crave caffeine. oh, the insanity of it all! *hand to forehead, palm out*

my topic (drumroll) is "The Necessity of the Incarnation for Man's Fulfillment and the Utter Stupidity of Postmodernism."

ta-daaaaaa!

*aside* tween you n me, i'm in over my head...

well, i'm gonna go stare at a tree for a little while, and see if i can remember what depth perception is.

when you figure this whole turabian thing out, let us (read: the whole world) know.

praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition!

joe.

[ Insert witty comment here.]

N.5
From: "Deb" < @comcast.net>
To: "joe zelasko" < @hotmail.com>Subject:
Re: more pressing matters....Date: Tue, 8 Nov 2005 19:53:42 -0700

Did you regain your depth perception?

I am still doing footnotes!

N.6
From: joe
To: deb
Sent: Tuesday, November 08, 2005 7:59 PM
Subject: Re: letting dinner settle...

naw. don't need it, anyway. gotta pound out these last few pages. thinking of throwing myself off the roof. maybe i could get a little sympathy and a few extra days for a "slip-n-fall"....

not gonna bank on it, though.had some espresso after dinner, that was nice. watch, though - i'ma crash inside of an hour.

everything's relative..........

gaaah.

dave and i are discussing how to cite papal encyclicals. any ideas?

N.7
From: "Deb" < @comcast.net>
To: "joe zelasko" < @hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: letting dinner settle...Date: Tue, 8 Nov 2005 20:28:58 -0700

This is the format I found in one of the books I am using for reference.

John Paul II. Encyclical Letter: Evangelium Vitae, The Gospel of Life, (1995), 2.

I think this will be ok, what do you think?

N.8
From: "Deb" < @comcast.net>
To: "joe zelasko" < @hotmail.com>Subject:
Re: letting dinner settle...Date: Tue, 8 Nov 2005 20:28:58 -0700

Whadaya think?

When referring to the twelve - should it be The Twelve or the Twelve?

N.9
From: joe
To: deb
Sent: Tuesday, November 08, 2005 8:32 PM
Subject: Re: ah, semantics...

the Twelve, definitely. it's the nominative that refers to a specific person/place/thing, or in this case, a group of persons. 'the' is just a definite article, arguably a demonstrative article in this case, but that's splitting hairs.
at any rate, i'd go with "the Twelve."

i have no idea what i'm talking about.

joe.

[ right now, i philosophically disagree about the necessity of philosophy.]

N.10
From: "Deb" < @comcast.net>
To: "joe zelasko" < @hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: ah, semantics...Date: Tue, 8 Nov 2005 20:40:37 -0700

You make me laugh out loud! Thanks! I really needed it!

Keep in touch, I am having my espresso now - I need to get done so I can get in an episode of Star Trek Enterprise.....yes, I'm a trekkie!!!

N.11
From: joe
To: debt
Sent: Tuesday, November 08, 2005 8:48 PM
Subject: Re: my job here is done. almost.

i do what i can.

enjoy the caffeine, and the post-modern entertainment.

say, were you aware that Benedict XVI inherited the God-given genius of Cardinal Ratzinger? and did you know, that by virtue of our shared Catholicism, we too are genius.

maybe that's a stretch, but i'll go for it. in fact, i think i'll put that in my paper.

catch you tomorrow. Christ's Peace be with you and your House. joe.

[ .]

blogging is stupid.

2005-11-06T21:10:00.000-07:00

tonight i trimmed my toenails after dinner.
it was a relief.

tomorrow, i think i'll eat a poptart.

i learned a new radiohead song this afternoon - there there.

well, that's about it. tell me what you think.

yo, god! what's up?

2005-10-11T22:55:00.000-06:00

so i just found out that jason and susan torres' baby girl died a month ago of heart failure after surgery to repair a perforated intestine, or something like that.

if ya'll don't remember, susan was braindead after her melanoma cancer spread to her brain. the doctors kept her on life support until they could safely deliver the baby girl she was pregnant with.

the baby, susan anne catherine torres, was born aug. 2, and the mother died aug. 3, after she was removed from life support.

i went to school with them both at the university of dallas. i did not know them at all, really, but i played rugby (or what passed for it) for a semester with jason his senior year. i'll spare you the story, but he stole a car one afternoon to get me to work on time. whatever else he did or did not do, he did a great kindness for me, and i have always thought well of him for it.

i heard about his wife and child in april or may, on the cbs evening news. i had remembered the family in my prayers until i heard the child had been delivered.

anyway, point of it all is this:

i know that God allows bad things to happen to good people. i also know that he makes good things come of said bad things. i just really struggle with believing that sometimes.

this is one of those times.

We give You thanks, Almighty God, for all the benefits You have given us, You who live and reign forever and ever. Have Mercy on us, O God, in Your goodness, forgive us our sins, and lead us to the everlasting life. Amen.

ever wish someone dead, and then they died?

2005-10-11T22:06:00.000-06:00

so we got a dog this past weekend - or more accurately, mike found a friendly wolf in the mountains on his camping trip, and BROUGHT HER HOME.

that's the background. so last night, she cried outside of my window ALL NIGHT, and kept waking me up. i remember thinking very clearly at one point, "i'll never be able to get out of bed in the morning. i wish she would just shut up or go away."

well, apparently i said that last part out loud, cuz when i went to take the garbage out after breakfast (which i had after dragging my butt out of bed at TEN A.M.!) i noticed that the gate into the alley was open, and the dog was gone.

i did it. i killed her. she's gone, and it's all my fault!

i think i'll dance a jig.

in the hopes that she'll come back, of course....

now that's a manly purchase!

2005-10-10T16:54:00.000-06:00

so my roommate mike and i were driving to the 12.10 mass downtown this morning, and i asked if we had snow shovel - it's been snowing all morning - and mike said, "no, but we should get one. that would be a manly purchase." awkward pause. "more so than a vacuum cleaner."

point taken.

vacuum cleaners are for WOMEN!!!

push this

2005-10-06T00:41:00.000-06:00

there's just something about doing push-ups with your roommates - makes me want to go out and kill something with a sharp stick so i can cook it over a fire...

mike, who's got the build of a young arnold schwarzenegger was approaching 300 push-ups, and said, hey, guys, my shirt's getting in the way. and he removes his shirt - show off.

so then mccartney stands up, and RIPS HIS SHIRT OFF!!! comedy GOLD! i laughed so hard, i almost peed myself.

anyway, that's what you're missing here in denver.

what I learned from my junior's exam

2005-05-30T22:20:00.000-06:00

human beings have an innate dignity. it is derived from the fact that we are created by god. now, if you don't believe in god, please continue reading. then tell me what you think. being made in the image and likeness of god gives us each a dignity that we can tarnish, cherish, bury under a mountain of crap only to dig it out again - we will always have it.

this is, coincidentally, the exact opposite of what martin luther says (the whole snow-covered dung thing) - that we are steamy piles of cow poo made pure by the newly fallen winter snow. problematic in that we remain poo inside, whilst the snow on the outside is bound to melt - unless we live above the arctic circle. in which case, you have giant hockey pucks.

the whole thing smacks of hypocrisy, if you ask me... or, outright stupidity. take your pick.

back to business.

with this dignity comes certain rights and responsibilities. our rights are what we are entitled to; our responsibilities stem from a universal indebtedness to our creator. our responsibilities curb our rights, but not in a way that is detrimental to our existence as human beings. if nothing else, it will most assuredly bring us true fulfillment in the long-run. this necessitates a patience and understanding that our present society derides - why wait when you can have fulfillment now? (this is topic for another discussion altogether and some other time.)

by surrendering some of our own selfish inclinations, and by putting others first, we can come to see an improvement in the relationships around us. who doesn't like to spend time with someone who is kind, considerate, polite? someone who is willing to listen, put their own concerns aside for a while to help out, and expects no repayment when the task is done? who wouldn't want to work with someone like that? marry someone like that?

i have to go to the bathroom. i'll finish this later. questions? comments? winning game pieces? just stay on the line, and one of our operators will be right with you.

first time caller, long time listener

2005-05-18T11:34:00.000-06:00

it's wednesday.

thank you very much. i'll be here all week.